Articles

By Dr. Lynn Margolies
Search

Filter by Topic

Topics
Publications
The content on this Site (including all articles, vignettes, videos, cartoons, images, tools, links, books, and any external resources) is provided as a free resource to the general public for educational purposes only. No materials or content is permitted to be downloaded, or printed, for commercial or any other use. Terms of Use.
Getting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Parenting ChallengesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

10 Easy Ways to Get Along With Your Teen

Practical tips for dealing with teenagers to build trust, respect, and better communication.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Family IssuesShame, Guilt, & Compulsive BehaviorsInside The Male MindMen’s IssuesMidlife Crisis

10 Ways to Stop the Spiral of Self-Destructive Behaviors

Breaking out of self-destructive habits requires deliberate action – not willpower, talking, or insight alone. Escape behaviors are often an unconscious attempt to avoid shame and other difficult feeling states, but when they become habitual, they fuel more shame and isolation. Unwanted behavior patterns can develop a life of their own but can be tackled with practical neuroscience-based tools that leverage the way the brain works.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

Parents get intimidated when their teenager refuses to talk or shuts down conversations. Here are 3 simple tricks to get your teenager to talk, listen, and engage in a two-way conversation.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Attraction & RomanceRelationship IssuesUnlocking Potential

4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

Find out why matching with certain types of people can lead to surprising outcomes you did not expect (or want).
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Difficult ConversationsPopular Psychology Topics

5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won’t Talk

People make similar mistakes that are not so obvious when trying to engage someone who doesn’t want to talk. Considering the audience and previous interactions with them allows us to predict how conversations will play out and make informed decisions. Good timing is observing the other person’s mood and state of mind, and getting their consent before launching a question or statement.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Shame, Guilt, & Compulsive BehaviorsInside The Male MindMen’s IssuesMidlife Crisis

5 Simple Steps: Get Control Over Shame & Self-Destructive Behavior

Shame is: “I am bad” vs. “I did something bad.” Hidden shame often drives self-destructive behaviors and other psychological symptoms such as rage, avoidance, or addictions.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Risk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

6 Proven Ways to Help Teens Make Safe Choices

Helping teens make good choices. Reduce risky behavior. Proven strategies for teaching how to make the right decisions and better decision making.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsDivorceGuilt & AnxietyParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesFamily IssuesInside The Male MindMen’s Issues

A Boy Divided

We can all probably easily recognize this story as a clear case of a child being put in the middle between divorced parents. But what can be done?…Children can have qualitatively different attachments with each parent. Research consistently shows that a secure attachment with a parent or other trusted adult can ameliorate the effects of troubled attachments and trauma, creating new experiences and new pathways in the brain.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily Issues

A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

In order to help teens, we must accurately diagnose why a particular teen in a particular context is irritable or reactive – rather than respond in a reflexive way.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Attraction & RomanceCouples IssuesCouples TherapyRelationship Issues

A Good Sex Life Is Not Just About Chemistry

Feelings that are unconscious or unresolved make themselves known through actions and symptoms. Persevering to uncover the true and often underlying meaning of symptoms and behaviors may not only save your relationship, but also open you up to a deeper awareness of yourself and your partner.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Teens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetUnlocking Potential

A Guide to Sending Your Teenager Off to College: Overcoming Common Challenges

With the arrival of summer, many teenagers will be preparing to go off to college and leaving home for the first time. In this final leg of the race, families face many challenges navigating this transition.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Teens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

A Quiz on Teens: 5 Common Misconceptions Even You Might Still Believe

Learn the facts about the teenage brain. Take this short quiz to see if you still harbor common stereotypes about teens.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Couples IssuesCouples TherapyRelationship Issues

A Surprising Cause of Conflicts in Relationships (and Easy Remedy)

A common but hidden cause of conflict in relationships is harboring an inaccurate belief about your partner’s (or teenager’s) intentions. Our perception of why the other person did or didn’t do something, and what we believe that means, can make or break whether the conflict becomes insidious or gets resolved.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Couples IssuesCouples TherapyRelationship IssuesDifficult ConversationsFamily IssuesMen’s IssuesInside The Male MindMidlife Crisis

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Unlocking PotentialPopular Psychology Topics

Are You Confusing Rumination With Problem-Solving?

An ill-fated but common problem is failing to recognize rumination as a sign of anxiety, and confusing it with thinking things through.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Assertiveness & BoundariesDifficult Conversations

Arming Yourself Against “i’m Just Saying,” and Other Annoying Phrases

Annoyed by phrases like “I’m just saying”? Learn why people use them, their hidden meanings, and practical ways to respond confidently.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Shame, Guilt, & Compulsive Behaviors

Barriers to True Forgiveness

Well, forgiveness is not so simple. We cannot just decide to forgive and command ourselves to make it happen through sheer force of will.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsDivorceGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetAffairs & FantasyDifficult ConversationsFamily IssuesInside The Male MindMen’s Issues

Being a Grownup When Your Kid Hates You

This column tells a story based on a composite of real-life situations in therapy to represent both teen and parent viewpoints on anger and guilt in families during divorce. Sabrina, 18, was a freshman away at college. Shortly after she arrived at school she found out that her parents had just split up. Sabrina also soon discovered that her dad had been having an affair since she was in high school, and was still involved with the other woman.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

Being a Wise Ally for Your Kids

How do we deal with getting our loved ones to do what we want them to do? In all relationships we feel the tension created by this dilemma. The subtext of interactions between parents and children facing conflict shapes the template kids develop and carry with them.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Getting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorTeens & Young AdultsFamily IssuesPsychology NewsSubstanceYouth

Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Teen drinking alters brain development, increasing anxiety and cravings, and heightens risk for adult alcohol use disorder and addiction.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies