Articles on Limits & Boundaries

By Dr. Lynn Margolies

Back to Parenting Challenges

Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

3 Easy Ways to Get Your Teen to Talk and Listen

Parents get intimidated when their teenager refuses to talk or shuts down conversations. Here are 3 simple tricks to get your teenager to talk, listen, and engage in a two-way conversation.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily Issues

A Counterintuitive Approach to Your Irritable Teens

In order to help teens, we must accurately diagnose why a particular teen in a particular context is irritable or reactive – rather than respond in a reflexive way.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Getting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorTeens & Young AdultsFamily IssuesPsychology NewsSubstanceYouth

Binge Drinking During Adolescence Primes the Brain for Alcohol Use Disorder in Adulthood

Teen drinking alters brain development, increasing anxiety and cravings, and heightens risk for adult alcohol use disorder and addiction.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGuilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily Issues

Breaking Up With Your College-Bound Teen

Feeling rejected, worried, or fed up with your college-bound teen? You are not alone. Here’s what to do.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesAssertiveness & BoundariesFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

Can a Parent Have Too Much Empathy?

Many people experience vicarious distress when imagining other people’s reactions, which can hold them back from taking needed action in those relationships.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetAssertiveness & BoundariesFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

Courage & Limits With Your Teen

Recognize that, though they will say otherwise (and that’s ok), teens feel protected by limits. No one likes feeling out of control without anyone strong enough to help them.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesAssertiveness & BoundariesFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

Daughters Growing Up, Mothers Growing Scared

Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to mature and transition to the next level.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily Issues

Does Your Teenager Want to Get Caught?

This is the story of a kid who feels propelled to act out – yet equally powerful is his unconscious need to get caught. The essence of what’s needed is to listen and respond to danger in a firm and caring way. Protection occurs through interested, open, informed, pro-active, non-judgmental conversation – and appropriate limits delivered in a non-punitive way. The research finding that a close, supportive relationship with parents (as perceived by teenagers) is the most protective measure against underage drinking, sexual activity and violence is good news for us and no surprise.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily Issues

High Speed Parenting With Teens – A Common Cause of Broken Connections

Parents are vulnerable to misinterpreting difficult situations based on their own feelings and the literal, often misleading message they perceive from teens. Without knowing how to decode a teenager’s behavior, and when feelings get in the way of perspective, we can react in ways that make situations more volatile.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesAcademic Pressure & PerfectionismTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetAssertiveness & BoundariesDifficult ConversationsFamily IssuesUnlocking Potential

How to Influence Teens Who Cover Up

What to say to teens who think everything is none of your business or other porcupine tactics that shut parents out.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetAssertiveness & BoundariesDifficult ConversationsFamily Issues

How to Live With Your (Newly Returned) “Grown-up” Child

Families are in transition now as college age kids that used to be living at school are returning home. Many parents are struggling with how to live with their kids who are often bolder now and have new ways of living and acting that pose a problem for parents. This column is a response to many parents requesting help with how to approach and word unwelcome conversations with their.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting ChallengesApproaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesTeens & Young AdultsRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetAssertiveness & BoundariesFamily Issues

Know Your Limits: A Prom Primer for Parents

As parties and prom become a part of a teenager’s social world, parents are confronted with the familiar challenge of how to protect them. This article is an easy guide for parents so they can know how to talk to their teen about drinking.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting ChallengesApproaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesTeens & Young AdultsRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorFamily IssuesPsychology NewsYouth

Online Risks & Stressors: What Teens Tell Their Parents

Online behaviors that can put teens at risk—why they hide cyberbullying, sexting, and social pressure, plus parenting tips to guide and protect them.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting ChallengesGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsAcademic Pressure & PerfectionismRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily Issues

Parenting Teens: 7 Important Questions With Answers That Sort Truth From Fiction

Parents of teens can use answers. But it’s not so easy to stay updated. This questionnaire highlights common questions and popular confusions to help parents sort out truth from fiction.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily Issues

Seduced by Risk & Danger: Inside the Teenage Mind

Research suggests that adolescence may represent a “critical period” in which the brain is particularly sensitive to being shaped by experiences – creating both vulnerability and opportunity depending on what behaviors are practiced during this time. Teens who take the most risks have relatively poorer outcomes in adulthood in relationships and work. But, interestingly, teens who are risk averse have equally poor outcomes as those who are the riskiest.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGuilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesAssertiveness & BoundariesFamily Issues

Surefire Ways to Alienate Your Adult Children (and Other People)

This article discusses confusing patterns that occur with narcissistic and controlling parents and other people.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting ChallengesApproaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesTeens & Young AdultsRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetFamily IssuesPsychology NewsYouth

Teenagers Behaving Badly? a Closer Look at the Complex Drivers of Recklessness in Youth

This blog discusses recent research on teen recklessness and how it’s not what you think.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorTeens & Young AdultsFamily IssuesPsychology NewsSubstanceYouth

The Startling Data on College-Age Binge Drinking

Binge drinking in college age youth and on college campuses is an alarming, prevalent problem that has been normalized in the college culture among those involved in it.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Approaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Guilt & AnxietyLimits & BoundariesParenting ChallengesSeparation IssuesTeens & Young AdultsUnderstanding the Teenage MindsetAssertiveness & BoundariesFamily Issues

When Teens (or 20 Somethings) Think You’re Bugging Them – but Really They’re Bugging You

This article is about a common dynamic in families in which parents feel controlled by their teenage or adult child’s anger, irritability, and/or fragility and, as a result, avoid approaching certain topics or setting needed limits. Tiptoeing and avoiding instead of taking charge leads people who need boundaries to become more out of control and too powerful. The article discusses this dynamic, common obstacles to giving truthful feedback and setting boundaries, and lists practical steps for how to overcome them.
Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies
Parenting ChallengesApproaching Difficult TopicsGetting Teens to Talk (and Listen)Limits & BoundariesTeens & Young AdultsRisk, Danger, & Self-Destructive BehaviorFamily IssuesPsychology NewsSubstanceYouth

Why is Weed Use A Problem for Youth?

Youth ages 18-25 have the highest rate of weed use, and this is increasing (SAMSA, 2025). But why does using weed really matter? Older generations may have used weed too and found it harmless. Who is impacted negatively by weed and why? What are the short- and long-term dangers?

Author Profile Picture
Dr. Lynn Margolies