Articles on Relationship Issues

By Dr. Lynn Margolies
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4 Match-Up Types: Which One Do You (Unconsciously) Select?

Find out why matching with certain types of people can lead to surprising outcomes you did not expect (or want).

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

A Good Sex Life Is Not Just About Chemistry

Feelings that are unconscious or unresolved make themselves known through actions and symptoms. Persevering to uncover the true and often underlying meaning of symptoms and behaviors may not only save your relationship, but also open you up to a deeper awareness of yourself and your partner.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

A Surprising Cause of Conflicts in Relationships (and Easy Remedy)

A common but hidden cause of conflict in relationships is harboring an inaccurate belief about your partner’s (or teenager’s) intentions. Our perception of why the other person did or didn’t do something, and what we believe that means, can make or break whether the conflict becomes insidious or gets resolved.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Apology Not Accepted: Why “Sorry” Won’t Get You Off the Hook

Learn the psychology behind bad apologies (and a simple formula for success).

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Can Having a Conscientious Spouse Have an Impact on Your Career?

Wondering how to support your spouse’s career? Research shows a supportive partner boosts success, job satisfaction, and happiness by reducing stress.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Couples Therapy

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Dear John (or Jane) Text/Emails: Closing the Door After an Affair

An affair that is suddenly exposed or suddenly ends poses a particular risk situation for the vulnerable marriage with an unfaithful spouse. In the aftermath of an affair, feelings of loss, conflict and pressure can make it difficult to let go of the illicit relationship, compounding the lure that led to the affair in the first place.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

How Can You Mend a Broken Marriage?

Crisis forces us to mobilize – or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

How to Get Along When You Disagree

Are you or your spouse harboring silent resentment? There’s a better way.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

How to Set Boundaries With Difficult People

Boundary setting is challenging. Most people have difficulty saying no or setting a boundary. Predictably, ithout a strategy, people resort to repeating the same tactics that haven’t worked or give in and then get resentful. Boundaries protect relationships, and this can used to leverage your own motiavation to set them and as an explicit rationale with another person.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

It’s Not Just Who You Are – but Who You’re With

Many people seek partners based on a list of qualifications or instinctive attraction to certain types. These approaches, though popular, do not consider the flavor that will emerge when features they are drawn to co-mingle with their own personality.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Manipulative or Unaware? Inside the Male Mind

Some men have a pattern of instinctively accommodating and then becoming resentful and acting it out – often without realizing it. Men vulnerable to this dynamic may have limited self-awareness or skills to communicate their needs and feelings directly. Secret rebellion against feeling controlled can manifest unconsciously through forgetting, lateness, silence, irritability. Learn how to read the signs so that you can protect your relationship and prevent negative cycles of disconnection and hidden conflict.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Midlife Crises Affecting Men & Families

Midlife crises can occur in both men and women but take a particular form in men facing identity crises, often spilling into family life.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Midlife Crises Can Lead to Growth, Destruction

In midlife crisis men often feel lost or trapped. Learn how men can navigate crises, avoid destructive choices, and find genuine fulfillment.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Risk Tolerance: What to Do When Yours Is Different From Your Spouse

This column offers a simple strategy to help couples reduce and de-escalate conflict. It discusses common struggles behind closed doors. Common issues between spouses during the pandemic have to do with risk tolerance differences, feeling trapped and resentful. This piece offers perspective and ideas that will help in practical ways and apply to couples in general around other issues and in other situations.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Selfishness in Couples: Narcissism, Lack of Interpersonal Skills, or Something Else?

Selfish behavior or lack of empathy that looks like narcissism can be a manifestation by hidden hurt and resentment caused by insideious unresolved marital issues.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

The Fight or Flight Response: How It Affects Men and Women’s Ability to Talk Things Out

This blog discusses research findings on why men need space.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

When Fantasy Crosses the Line

Fantasizing about another person may seem like a harmless indulgence, but it actually draws us closer to temptation and can increase the risk of being unfaithful.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Who Said It’s Not Your Affair?

Any marriage or relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies

Who’s in the Middle of Your Marriage?

Is a parent intruding upon your relationship? Understanding this dynamic and learning some practical strategies can help.

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Dr. Lynn Margolies